To Bailey on your 1st Birthday

To our beautiful Bailey on your first birthday.

We can't put into words how much we miss you, how much we wanted you and how much you are loved.

Today, Brodie and I went to the shops and bought you a cake to celebrate our love for you.  We made a donation in your name, and bought two teddies that we have donated in your memory. 

We wish so much that we were celebrating your first birthday with you. 

We hope you are having lots of fun in Heaven with all your angel friends. 

I imagine you as a gorgeous blonde and blue eyed 1 year old, with a gigantic smile and a heart full of love and happiness.

Lots of love always and forever,
Mummy, Daddy, Brodie and your new little brother
xxxx

19 March 2009

On 19 March 2009, we found out our little boy wasn't going to make it. 

It was our 19 week scan, and the news we received was the worst news we could possibly have been told.  Our precious baby boy was very sick.

I hate that day, I hate having being told our baby had a lot of problems, I hate that ultrasound room, I hate having had to wait at my OB's rooms full of happy pregnant women while waiting to be told "your baby isn't viable", I hate that my OB said he would pass me onto a specialist to care for us while he went overseas, I hate the fact that I did everything I could not to cry when I walked back into the waiting room, I hate the car ride home afterwards, and telling my mum about her grandson while she was sick in hospital.

This day last year was the worst day of my life and the day my dreams for my baby were crushed.

Letter to Bailey - Miss You So Much

Dear Bailey,

Missing you lots.  Can't believe your birthday is coming up, and that your little brother will be here soon. 

Thinking of you everyday.  I don't always know what to say to you, but I want you to know how much you are missed, how much I love you, how much I wish I could change everything for you.

Love you so much.
Mummy
xxxxxxxxxx