Yesterday we took Kyle to church for the first time since his lip repair surgery. Everyone who saw Kyle before the surgery, thought his lip is looking fantastic, which is to be expected because I think he is the most gorgeous baby around (and I thought this before the surgery anyway, once your baby is in your arms - nothing else is more beautiful).
A friend came up to me and said "his name is Bailey, isn't it?". My heart skipped a beat and it seemed an eternity before I could answer her. I said "Bailey is the name of the son we lost, this is Kyle". I wasn't prepared for anyone to call Kyle 'Bailey' and it was a huge shock. She then remembered that Kyle's middle name is Bailey, and was able to cover up her embarassement with that.
I read other blogs and read of mum's being able to talk openly about their lost babies, but I'm finding it harder as time goes by, and it hurts so much to now talk about Bailey. I'm not trying to forget him (he is always in my thoughts every day), it's just too hard for me emotionally to explain to people about what happened to my middle son. I wish things were easier.
Here are my gorgeous little firemen.