Hi Sarah,
I've been trying to post a comment on your site for a few days, and for some reason, I can't get the Post a Comment page to open.
I just wanted to reply to your comment in your site, so I'm hoping you get to see this. How does my partner cope?
It's a bit hard to say how my partner is coping. I was told early after we lost Bailey by our church counselor that men cope with their grief differently to women and that men tend to work away their grief, while women talk about their emotions and feelings. After actually seeing this in action, I still wasn't prepared for the total opposite ways we are dealing with our grief. I just think that in some ways he has actually gotten over the loss of Bailey.
Other than telling him what I'm doing to remember Bailey by, we don't actually talk about the loss of Bailey. That's probably not the best way to deal with things, but we were starting to get into arguments, which I found hurtful not just to me, but also to Bailey's memory.
I'm hoping I'll find the right way to bring up Bailey in future conversations with him, but at the moment, it's just not working for me.
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Hi Fiona,
My blogspot is footprints of angels...but you answered my Q so I think you meant me!!! :-)
I'm sorry you aren't able to really talk to your husband about your beautiful Bailey. That must be hard for you, I will try to remember to pray for you about that. I guess he's just coping the only way he can for now... I shut Jason down a bit at times- I think I was so scared I'd be swallowed whole by my grief and anger.
It is funny how we all deal with things like this sooo differently. We were told the same thing by the chaplain in hospital about grieiving differently. Jason tended to be more openly emotional than me to start with- and got exasperated with me because I retreated and dealt with it internally and more by getting on with things. Now that ppl have backed off a bit- I have fallen apart more- like I don't have to be brave anymore?!
If you want to- feel free to email me; sarahbartlett81@yahoo.com.au
I'd love to chat to you about Bailey if you wanted- or anything else and share prayer needs etc!
Love sarah xx
Hi Fiona!
I managed to fix the commenting problem on my blog- so it should be working jsut fine now :-)
xx
Oops, yes I did mean "footprints of angels". I'm sure I was thinking it, when I was writing down something else.
Grief is such a personal journey. We're all different and I guess the way we go through grief is different. People have been telling me how strong I've been, and on some days I am and then on others, I'm not.
I also know now that I'm going to have days when I fall in a heap, and to just expect that this happens right out of the blue and to not be too hard on myself when I find I can't cope.
The last thing I thought I would do would be to cry in a mother's group over some newborns, and a toddler named Bailey - but they all cried at once, and then I cried too - it was so hard. On that same day, I lady gave Brodie a book "Za-Za's baby brother", with a pregnant zebra on the cover (she doesn't know I lost a baby), and so yes, I had a really tough day that day - took me a few days to get back on track.
Thanks Sarah.
Love,
Fiona
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