Urgh

All I can think right now is "urgh".

God only gives us what we can take.  Really?  Urgh, I'm tired, I've lost 5 kilos and I didn't have a lot to lose, I'm sad, depressed, forgotten about.

God, please fill me again.  I feel empty and alone, even though I know this happens to a lot of other people.  I found a support page for daughters without mums, thank God.  I now belong to two groups - one for pregnancy and infant loss and now learning to live without my Mum, who was an absolutely important person in my life.  Urgh.

I had so much more plans with Mum.  I wasn't ready to lose Mum yet.  I still want advice.  I still want our chats.  I still want our shopping trips.  I still want to vent and complain with someone who completely understands me.  I still want to go out for lunch.  All these things are not the same without Mum.